Dating Tips
Do’s & Don’ts of internet socializing
What do I talk about?
That first meeting
Creating a can’t miss profile:
Before starting you need to realize that YOU are an interesting person and that other members WILL find you interesting for the person you are.
1. Show how interesting you are in the written description about yourself. This part can be slightly tricky, because you want to advertise yourself in the best possible light without sounding like you are in love with yourself. So, keep it simple and show how fun and interesting you are or could be. The following are just a few questions you can ask yourself when trying to write your description:
- - What activities are you involved in or would you like to be involved in? Camping, hiking, or other outdoor fun? Playing or watching sports? Volunteer work?
- - Do you like traveling? Would you like to start doing some traveling?
- - Any of your favorites are always good (movies, food, books, restaurants, etc…).
- - What do you do for relaxation? (meditate, exercise, etc…).
- - Do you have anything you feel passionate about? (leave out religion & politics).
- - Do you have any special talents? (fixing or making things, drawing, writing)
2. Spelling? Yes, spelling. This is a pretty simple thing to do, but one that could eliminate you from contention. MANY intelligent individuals are horrible spellers, but you would never know it, because they use spell check or a dictionary. So, do the same to avoid having other members think you never made it out of the 2nd grade!
3. George Washington told the truth after cutting down a cherry tree. OK, turns out that old story never really happened, but the point is that you need to be honest. If you actually intend on meeting someone, it would be quite the shocker to find out that you are 4’7 when you said you were 6’2 and looked like Adonis! Keep it real my friend, and you will find out that other members will be interested in you for you.
4. Along the same lines as keeping it real for yourself, be realistic of the kind of person or people you would like to meet. In other words, if you are Adonis-like with no problem meeting other people, then by all means ask for someone to be perfect. But if you are like most of us and not perfect, then don’t limit yourself by insisting that you only want to meet members who have model looks, Einstein brains, and other unrealistic characteristics.
5. The photo might be the most important piece of creating a can’t miss profile. It has been shown that people having a photo uploaded on a socializing site have about an 800% greater chance of being contacted by another member. 800%!!! “But I’m not worth looking at”, you might be saying. We could not disagree more, because we TRULY believe there is someone for everyone. AND, that someone wants to see your photo. “I don’t have a digital photo or camera”. Easy enough to solve. Ask a friend, family member, or other trusted person to help you out. If you don’t have someone like this, then break down and purchase one or get a professional photographer to take a picture of you. You CAN’T afford not to have a photo added to your profile.
Do’s & Don’ts of internet socializing:
- - Don’t meet at a member’s home for the first meeting.
- - Don’t share where you live at least till you know them for a while.
- - Don’t provide any financial information or give money to another member.
- - Don’t stick around if a member shows up to an arranged meeting intoxicated or behaves in an inappropriate manner on-line or in person.
- - Don’t ignore your instincts.
- - Do exchange emails several times before agreeing to exchange phone numbers or before agreeing to meet.
- - Do make the first meeting in a public setting.
- - Do tell someone where you will be when agreeing to meet with another member.
- - Do contact us if another member is being inappropriate.
- - Do take things slowly.
- - Do have fun.
What do I talk about?:
Starting up a conversation with someone we don’t know can be a scary thing to do. Try to remember that the other member is probably nervous just like you. This might be their first time trying to meet other people in years! OK, now that we’ve established that many members are going to be a little anxious about communicating with others through email, phone, or in person meetings, what do you talk about? We say keep it simple at first. Sharing too much personal information too quickly can sometimes make that first encounter the last. If you haven’t already done so, take a look at creating a can’t miss profile up above for some conversation starters. You might also want to start keeping up with current events if you don’t already. You will always have something to talk about if you know what’s going on both locally and globally. WARNING!!! Please try to stay away from discussing politics and religion early on. If you first get to know someone without getting into these issues, you might decide their other qualities are great enough to overlook these differences.
One last tip about sharing. Make it a two-way street. Communication is a process of give and take or talking and active listening (you might need to research what active listening is all about). Learning to communicate effectively is a learned skill and will take some practice, so feel free to engage a close friend or family member in a discussion and ask for feedback.
That first meeting:
This is all about making a great first impression. You want the other person to focus on all of your good qualities and not some silly thing you could have avoided. People form opinions about others rather quickly, and changing those perceptions is quite difficult to do. So, we think this would be a great opportunity to trim those nose hairs! You might also want to read below.
Don’t be late
This is a real pet peeve of ours. If you arrange to meet someone at 6:00 pm, that does NOT mean 7:00, 6:30, or even 6:10. It means 6:00 pm! Of course, we are A.O.K. if you want to show up a little early. If you have never been to the chosen meeting site before, consider making a dry run. Find out where the place is and go there the day before. This way you will have a decent idea of when you need to be walking out your front door. You also need to take into consideration things such as rush hour and weekend bus availability.
Presentation
Ever hear that saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”? Well, it also applies to YOU when meeting someone in person. If you show up looking like you just rolled out of bed, what message do you think is being sent to the other person? The message is that you don’t care enough about the encounter to make yourself presentable. So, make sure you wear some nice, clean, and wrinkle-free clothes, get the haircut you have been putting off, and trim those nose hairs.
Manners
Do we really need to go into detail here? Hold doors, cover your mouth when coughing, do not light up that cigarette without clearing it with the other person, chew with your mouth closed, and on, and on, and on. Got it? Oh, we almost forgot, TURN OFF YOUR MOBILE PHONE!!
What to talk about
Please read the above article titled, “What Do I Talk About?”.
Being positive
We are not suggesting you pretend to like eating eggplant if you can’t stand the stuff. We are just saying that nobody likes being around other people who put off a negative vibe. So, keep the critical thoughts to yourself and act as if you are enjoying the time being spent with the other person. You might not want this to be the last time you see this person!
**A special note about alcohol consumption during that first meeting: We think it is a pretty good idea to limit your intake of alcohol to a minimum, if at all. You want the other person to meet the real you, and you really do not want to make any decisions you might regret.